Well, i don't know what to say, Jake. I realised that you're always praising me, and i'm always praising you. Kinda interesting eh? Haha! I've talked to her about it. Not exactly talked about it but yea, she has revealed that she likes me and she's shown that she does. Well, i'm just glad that now we're clear about how we feel about each other. Although it seems like she's having slight difficulty forgetting her ex-stead. She's told me that she's afraid that she might be taking me as a substitute for him and hurt my feelings in the process. I don't know if i'd mind, really. But i did tell her that i don't mind. I really wonder if i'd been 100% truthful to myself and to her. I did tell her i would be hurt to know that, but i told her it was worth it, i guess. I'm not too sure about it. Actually, i really couldn't believe it when she sort of revealed her own thoughts to me. I was pretty such she would never consider being with me. Well, she hasn't forgotten her ex. And i'm like what? Half a head shorter than her? lolx I think it's kinda funny. Though i don't really mind. I didn't expect her not to mind. I wrote another song last night. No melody yet. I think i can sooner or later cut an album for myself and then give it to my friends. Haha! I think i've got to gather a band to help me out with this. Jake! Wanna be my producer? We can produce our own album and label and perhaps we can make it BIG! Ain't that cool? Dad just called. Gonna change job again. Oh wat the hell. He's gonna be working elsewhere in Jurong Point. Hopefully the boss won't kick him in a few days. Hope the job's gonna be stable. Well, i'm hungry now. Bye pal~

ok. read han's blog a while ago, then had "supper cum breakfast" (well... at this hour.. dunno what it's called, maybe "low tea"), so now i am back writing. actually... kinda envious. cos han's got lotsa FEMALE friends. and i don't. hmpf. i prefer female over males not because i am a sexist or flirt, it's just that females most likely won't talk vulgar. i'm oki with dirty minds and dirty talks, but no vulgarities please - not with the intention to scold or harm others. anyway, ya... i do have very good males friends, like HAN (gei qian)... and my english name JAKE, from another good friend kah hock =). friends being friends... sometimes being too close with the opposite sex can make things go *bleah*... i've always avoided it all time... except for once, i fell into it. it turned bitter later. sad. now, well, she's as good as non-existence except in my heart. i guess is the charm factor. han always praise me for things i think that everyone can do it (humble!.. lol... kidding), but somethings he has i just can never have. his voice is one. his charm's another. his voice. sometimes i do think i can sing well. but most of the time, i rather not sing, that's why i play the piano.. oki lah.. synthesizer. peiru says it's a toy. =( and i play the guitar too... but... i'm not good at it either. but being self taught and my anyhow-play-style gives my the satisfaction. but the MASTER of anyhow-play-style so far is still DARYL. admire his piano skills. his charm. yea... i guess i am just straight. you either like me, feel nuetral, or you dun like me. you most probably wont hesitate back and forth. but if you meet someone with charm.... like han... you may not think highly of him at first sight, but you will gradually be mesmerized. charmed. i think he charms others like this.... and i dun have this special ability =( *envy*. but then like everything... when used correctly, it prosper you; when used wrongly, you are just charmed (hokkien). however, it doesn't matter lah... OH YAH! side track abit... "everyone is unique" is an oxymoron. if everyone is unique, then everyone is the same, they are all unique. therefore, we need to twist it abit into... "everyone is unique in their own ways". still two persons can have the same ways, but it's their own ways, so it's unique. back to where we left... however, it doesn't matter lah... so called charm is still an illusion, most important is to know i am who i am and others know who i am too. then, there will be no misleaded feelings about one another. time to work. byee. nitenite

i'm back again.. feel like writing something.... really feeling sleepy, really sleepy for the past few days. i dun remember sleeping at all! and... it's sleepy, not tired. just finshed the rubber stamp design i had to make for realize creations. i really dunno what to put in the stamp, brain cannot think properly (sleepy). fixed han's computers yesterday, oki, actually not fixed, more like upgrading. was suppose to fix the dell computer but nothing seems wrong and so i couldn't do anything. but was glad that they worked. roland asked "why of all times the day before your exams" well, i also knew you had exam. i was thinking if i could fix your computer then you can use the online slides. better for you. but it turned out that your computer was oki. so, i do an upgrade instead. hope you can do well, if not i'll feel bad. but not too bad lah. cos, you lack discipline too! hehe. (counter-blame). hmm... once again. someone call to tell me sad stories, to FA XIE, to release the anger and frustrations. hmmm.. actually is quite difficult for me to say anything at all. (if you are reading this... i'm saying this escpecially to you.) sometimes i'm just not at the right position to say anything. my CJC tutor onced asked the class "do you think it is right for the terrorist to crash WTC" (something like that or "what do you think of this act"). everyone had alot to say, commenting how bad were they and blah blah blah.... but i said, "i feel i am not in the position to say anything". i am neither americans nor the "terrorists". i personally feel that "right may not be good, bad may not be wrong". in reality, many times we come across situation where by rigidly doing the right thing aggravates the situation. i dun want to prob further cos... i sleepy. but you can zi ji xiang (use your brain), and in short, letting the bad thing happen is sometimes the better choice. just because you feel sad about something doesn't it is actually a wrong thing done to you. sometimes is just that you cannot accept it. and if it is indeed a wrong thing done to you, you just have to forgive and tolerate that. i feel that when someone wrong you, or did something indeed wrong to you, at the highest attainment, it is to feel sad for the person who cannot discern right from wrong, sympathise with him, be empathetic, help him change and realize his mistake; rather than be defensive and blame him for the things he had done to make you cry. i am such a person. so there is no excuse that you cant be like this. (i dun mean you have to be like me, but if you can think of anything higher, i would like to be that). i think it would be easier for religious people to accomplish this... although i am not. watched a show (factual, regarding love of god, forgiveness) about this guy who is utterly disfigured and disabled. when he was a baby, he met up with a car accident. another driver, filled with hatred, attempted to take revenge on his enemy by crashing his car into his enemy's and killing him. unfortunately, he crashed into the wrong car and this little baby was the victim. the collision set the vehicals into raging fire, explosion was felt hundreds of metres away. the baby is trapped right in the middle. it was rushed to the hosiptal, treated with skin transplant and blood transfusion. he lived. many years later, the driver was arrested to court. this baby, now a man, summoned to court to testify against him, forgave him instead, releasing him from the harsh punishment. there at the court, he prayed for the lord to forgive him too... one of my friend was totally amazed by the forgiveness the guy showed. she challenged me that no one without the love of god will be able to take such a stand. at that time i din want to argue with her, because, again, it's about other's religion. but i just want to say that i can. yes, GOD will play apart, HE will make it easier for you to forgive. not trying to haolian (show off), my point here is that, even a non-GOD person can do it, anyone can do it, is just whether you want or not. if you find it difficult, look unto GOD, he'll help you to do it. i am not a christian, but so many people around me are. and the sad thing is, these christians have more troubles then me. this is the thing that makes me upset the most. eventhough they make up the minority, still, i feel it shouldn't be that way. humans need not be troubled unnecessarily. worse is that these troubles revolve around their faith. well... up to this part... i think i better stop. i can go on and complete a thousand word argument to explain myself, but i rather not. i rather not disturb your faith. sometimes i feel chi gek (frustrated) becuase of this. but it alright, cos, christianity makes people better, if you are not already one. although i am not a christians, i always encourage christians to be christians, to be more christian. WOAH!... sensitive issue. good night. gtg sleep.