sad ar!!!! this week seems to be slower than usual... finally finished my situational test which also means all the major events are more or less over liao. but it wasn't a good finsh at all... became so dissapointed and moody knowing that i will have to serve 3 confiements! ARGH!!!! and i feel there is no good enough reason to fault me. went back tekong after the field camp break with a sorethroat which turned into cough and headache for the first day of sit test in out field. i underestimated the 8km route march to the camp site. now i realize 24km march just before POP is not going to be easy at all... the first day was easy. learnt some knotting skills in theory and not-enuff-practice, and that's about the whole day. easy right? the second day sit test went fine, just that the more i want to be the IC, the more i could get appointed. so was abit sian cos couldn't perform mah... the assesor is a leuitenant from outside unit and he is much better than this other captian we had on the last day... well, at least he makes comments and helpful suggestions rather than just keeping quiet and stern all the time. on the second day i was on a mission to sweep mines using bayonet. halfway, was contacted by snipers, then we had to carry out the sniper drill. immediately i took cover and put aside my bayonet and took up position with the rifle. thinking that we should treat it seriously and urgently, unlike the others, i abandoned my bayonet and escorted the injured out of the area first, but i DID ask another guy to help pick my bayonet up. and he did. but the thing is, the sergeant called him back and took my bayonet from him and then fault me for leaving the bayonet behind, not taking care of it... i think it's simply unfair. the rest who kept their bayonet should be those kena punish lor... in that short time of cos is take cover and protect the wonded, where got time to keep bayonet!? haiz.. but no point arguing so i had to face it... sergeant then actually asked me to report the incident. but i didn't do it earlier so the commander tot i trying to hide from him. the thing is i knew i will bet caught for not keeping the bayonet yet i left it on the ground. and i also knew i will get into trouble if i din report earlier, but i STILL didn't report it earlier... dunno what i am thinking.. possesed by ghost. eventually i am sentenced to 3 confinements... ARGH!!! after that is all sian 1/2 then also dunno why so sway... twisted my ankle, then limping away the wholeday.. cannot report sick also because it will cuase me to fail my sit test... i also missed the 2km SBO run.. feel quite left out even till now, cos i dun feel good not completing BMT in whole. have to return to camp 0730... need to sleep le... what's the worse of all is i am unable to give attention to dear... haiz.. feel so bad... all my fault. actually got lots more to say, but i am tired le... and... there is just too much... so.. i end here ba... nite nite...

spent the afternoon resting at home then went out for dinner with her plus sending her to work... haiz.. heart pain to see you work so xin ku.. booking out on weekdays quite sian eh... cos most soldiers still in camp and students still schooling, and other girls working everywhere. there is few pple to go out with or even talk to. so.. in the end just stayed home to rest and sayang all the rashes, insect bites and pimples on the feet, hands, face and neck... i'm disfigured now (was ugly, now uglier. *sigh*) friends were complaining i always wear the same old things to go gai gai and so two good buddies very generously bought me a pair of INDOOR adidas. thanks! =) i think it's over $100 lor... feel guilty sia... i really din expect it. i actually forgot all abt my birthday because it fell on chinese new year so it was more of a new year then a brithday feeling. but really xie xie... cos had intention to pamper myself with a pair of adidas, xiang bu dao.... you complete it for me. like it alot... k then today had a makeover. my dressing was totally unkokboony. even attempted to wear a necklace but she complaint it was too much, so i took it off. i really look different le.. the "hair" and tanned skin went bugis after that, where we had dinner at FISH AND CO.. actaully wanted to treat her, but found out i forgot my mastercard after i asked for the bill. was scared stiffed cos i din have enuff cash. shui zhi dao... she actually prepared $$ to treat me liao... cheeky fella... *phew* felt quite bad lah.. cos she had to work so hard to pay for that meal... haiz.. straight after, we had to rush to the work place liao... there we parted, leaving me alone in bugis feeling rather alone and lost. cos dunno where to head next. took out phone and messaged a few pple hoping they are nearby so that i can meet them halfway for a drink and chat.. sadly... none replied. sat around for like 20mins before i gave up waiting and headed west, home. in the train i looked at my own reflection in the window... it feels as if i have suffered alot... look so weary and all... haiz... but, i still think training is under expectation... i have yet to get back my abs yet. lolx. ooo... very happy. realize creations got another deal. but it's a small one lah.. still... there is progress =) thanks tim. lead us onward. haha... hmmm what else? nothing le... gtg pack stuff. tata~ tomolo book in at 1030 haiz....

for 7 days - trees and trees and grass and grass no bathing, no washing push-ups jumping-jacks push-ups jumping-jacks run run run everything on; everything off rifle : wild boar oki... all's over. hmm lets do an AAR (after action report)... DAY 1: 4km route march in full battle order (full pack, helmet, webbing, rifle) and thats like 25kg on top of your own... along the way singing those dumb army songs - think i was the loudest. *grin* the rest too tired to echo le.. then reached the first camp site, no idea what it's called. anyway, we had to build our tents on this super hard ground. my buddy and i used all our strength to hammer the tent pegs into the soil. but this is just the beginning.. cos we also had to dig network of trenches for rain water to flow in case it ever pours... hmm.. what else.. oh... we had lesson on CAMOUFLAGE AND CONCEALMENT, FIRE MOVEMENT and... INCOMING! the first is quite obvious, put grass all over did in NCC also. fire movement is the "tactics" in engaging enemy fire, also did before. the incoming thingy is actually reponse to enemy artillery... this on can kill... cos whenever there is INCOMING, we had to RUN in skeletal battle order (same as FBO but without full pack, still xiong) shouting "arti arti" and it's all up to the instrutors how far they want us to run... tekkan sia... eventually night fall. and it was the first time i ever see stars so beautifully shining high up in the sky. could see the "belt of orion" and whatever star nearby. supposedly can see saturn too (they say lah)... but i dunno which one is it... =( but it was really beautiful sight... then i think of people in mainland again... missing the love... DAY 2: basically we complete more of the practical aspects in DAY 1, then immediately had tests for every single item... siao right? like learn now, then next moment test... haiz... but then again, easy to pass lah... oh.. then had ET (endurance training) run. in a stupid combi of attire. no. 4 with track shoes... anyway... i dunno how far it was lah... but i managaed to overtake almost everyone and came back earlier than the rest. with everything off, of course can run fast lah... haha then night came, looked into the litted sky again. realized the stars stayed in the same "formation" but shifted altogether to one side... so i assume it must be at a SIGNIFICANTLY different time of the night... and that is how people tell time by the position of the stars... yah? DAY 3: broke the tents and packed everything the moment we woke when the sky is still dark. then we were late for falling in and some lost underwear and socks were found, then as usual get some punishments here and there before we route march another 4km to this sea side. we think the sea breeze is nice... but when we realize the soil now is terribly soft and wet, we all sian zi bua.... now the tent pegs cannot stay in place.. haiz... then at night is like sleeping on water bed + rocks here and there... in the forest nearby, had more IFC and fire movements and tactical movements... halfway, while i was proning, i realize i was on an ant nest and the mother ant came and bit me, swell. i IMPROVED position, and realize i piggy backed another unknown insect with me. it then bit/stung (whatever) my neck and for the rest of the day i felt "paralysed" on the right side of the body... at the end of the trainings... arti arti all the way back to camp x_X DAY 4: same thing, packed up and left the sea for UNOM - a msytified area rumoured to be haunted - there we had TARGET INDICATION and more FIRE MOVEMENTS... we left before dusk... and reached oil palm plantation... then had practice for the same things again + the second ET run... DAY 5: test for EVERYTHING DAY 6: dig and dig.... first we dug a trench which would fit ourselves when laid in, this is what i slept in, together wich all the insects... then, we dug a fox hole...about 2m deep and 4m wide... now i totally respect the banglahs... lolx...i cant even clench my fist now.. feels all swollen and aching. Day 7: covering up all the holes is just as taxing... then dunno for what, got punished and did pushups... then some pple slack at the back thenwe all kana jumping jacks... actually these are nothing... but try doing it in SBO when exhausted from the diggin... i barely jumped 5mm... i too weak le.. after that, FIRE MOVEMENT all the way to the BATTLE INOCULATION COURSE (BIC) which is a sand field for leopard crawling 100m... it was under my expectation anyway..

have some time before i book out... let's hurry and blog!! this time i book out with only 28 hours to spend. minus all the traveling from east to west and west to east and piggin... i think it's less than one day's time. actually i could have booked out earlier, but had to drag until 1530 for the fast craft to come because they booked it at that time thinking pple will have to REshoot their 100m range in the morning. i passed. but didn't have marksman.. the gun so lousy! haiz.. wanted to get money back from han... but no time lah... haiz... then cannot eat buffet with you. maybe next time ba... distance make the heart grows fonder but also makes the parting sadder... couldn't spend enuff time with you. haiz... always thinking of you, day and night. this time i leave for tekong will only come back on 17th earliest, i'll have to miss valentine's and birthday altogether.. so sorry.... friday 13th mah... no wonder so unlucky... =/ ARGH... haiz... must take care of yourself, i dun want anything bad to happen to you eh... will be very sad kz... i know it's not your fault. but everything you do, there is a choice, try not to make a bad choice.... there will be a next time it happens again, must be clear minded by then k... if you trust me, tell me your problems, i will be able to help you. trust me... time to go soon... take care... there really will be lots of time together for us eventhough i maybe away now, if only you would stay by my side and keep yourselve healthy...

peace woo.. no one at home le.. all go out. hmm... oh yah.. last night forgot to include that i killed a snail. was walking back home along the sheltered walkway linking the hawker to my HDB estate. it was quite dark, cos it's cloudy night after 12am already.. OKAAAY... morning can? since was so late le, so i took very quick steps then suddenly i felt a bump on the ground and the next thing i heard is a loud cracking, think is of the shell... then the next few steps i took left watermarks on the concrete.. think is of the smashed-up snail... YUCKS!! then brushing the LIQUID off my sole against the ground, i feel my left feet couldn't walk properly. guilt stricken.. haiz.. not its day.. sorry... R.I.P. this morning i woke up quite reluctantly knowing that i have to book in today. dragged myself under the shower to bathe... suddenly have a strong urge to quickly return back to tekong! haha... must be wondering why right? haiz.. cos i just want to quickly finish BMT.. this training is getting abit draggy... not like ARMY life at all. i expected torturous training and strictly disciplined regimes... but... nothing.. nothing.. i am sitting on the fence lah... want to slack, but also want some rough and tough! but after the bath i return back to the pre-book-in blues mode. hmm... actually book out really nothign to do... so getting rather bored. that's why i feel like going back to training rather then wasting away. aiyah.. then also dunno why your computer like that... chat halfway then cut me off le.. sian... and then now you dun want to reply me.. sad sad... but nvm.. enjoy you day ba... take pretty photos at esplande hor.. today public hols maybe go outdoor performance! haha... did i mention i qualify to be a marksman? hmm anyway, looking forward to the REAL shoot haha...life rounds eh... then also want to experience the field camp asap. saw the other platoons came back looking like living mud figurines... haha... SHIOK! but everyone will stink... no bathing for 6 days eh... siao lo... if i get pimples or scar and become ugly... will you still want me? *blink* aha... just now got client call me say want to make webby... but it's a tiny project only.. and i cannot do it also... so.. tim, you settle it ba... then you can get all the money. thanks. =) if got anything you need me, then tell me ba.. i TRY to help... but give me some time to pei those i miss oki? hehe~ listening to JAY... some of the songs really quite nice.. then quite insiprational also.. dunno why... maybe is phycological ba.. in camp ar... very sad leh... daily chit chat like very shallow... and mundane. then there is no mental rest at all. every moment got to open eyes and ears to the "FALL IN NOW!" floating up from the company line... even when they say it's admin time (free time), we still have to beware of FIRE DRILLS... sian... i like to think alot, of all the big big things, the philosophies, the people, the life... but in camp really have no time to ponder abt these... only when i am back on mainland, then i feel relaxed and refreshed in the mind, and start to really appreciate the things we have around us. the family, the friends, the love; the greenery, the breeze, the air; the buildings, the cars, the lights, the noise; the freedom... and i think these are the things soldiers fight to defend so that we have - peace

and sunday is gone too... haiz.. really dun wan to see my platoon mates, cos everytime i see them means it's book in time. keke~ so bad... but it's cruelly true. actually wanted to stay home pei mama this whole day, but mama sleeping!! so think she also cannot enjoy my existence, that's why i went out... happy to see you again =) haiz... xi yang wu xian hao zhi shi jing huang hun... tian xia wu bu san zhi yan xi... so, there always have the time to say goodbye. nv do very much today... spent most hours wasting away. but while i waited her to finish working, i explored the vincinity by foot and had a deeper "orh!!!" walked from bugis to park lane and saw this "pub" singer performing on guitar. though there wasnt alot of pple, he still sang professionally and it was fantastic guitaring! *clap* suddenly realize is one month anniversary, so went to shop for some gift while i still waiting... walked around, din really know what to buy... so suddenly felt like making a card by hand (k lah... scissor and glue lah... hmpf)... but rather degraded cos i did it in a hurry... sorry abt that... i scared you really think i left and leave home immediately after work. hmm, then uncle toby is to reward you for being so hardworking! keke~ and... i look at the LEVI tee... REALLY NOT WORTH THE MONEY LAH! *piang*...but i still like it =) thanks.

and there goes my saturday, it's sunday now... sobx.. at 0113... told a close friend (at least she knows many of my things) of mine abt leslie... think she quite shocked. hmm... girl... hope you dun get too worked up ar... =/ next time see stars, must remember me hor... chang e in moon, i in star - see star, see shin(n)ing star, see kok boon =) actually book out also really nothing much to do lah... it's really just a day or two to just relax mentally (dun have to be alert and prepare to fall in all the time) and to recuperate physically. but can come back to mainland to feel civilization again is really refreshing. then can get to see loved ones, family and friends, chit chat and find out what i have missed during time in tekong... and to find out they miss me as much as i miss them makes me feel really xin fu... =) the past one week was really fast actually, suddenly, it's book out day again. and i am back at my precious computer. had quite alot of slacking hours to spend lazing around the bunk actually. but use of HP is prohibited =( training was tough either except maybe for the SOC we had to clear, and it is there where all (ok.. most) become all muddy and "garang" 6 days of training cost me 3 camou top; 2 camou bottom, green socks, white socks and underwear; 1 singlet, tee and shorts - and that's very little! my field pack was like so light compared to others who needed 2 bags to contain everything while i still have space to put a basketball! hee~ so you can guess how "hygenic" i was... keke~ but i think i and clean enuff lah... i do wash my clothes and all, though not thorough. i have total of 7 blisters now. of these, 2 on toes, 5 on palm (i burst) and i couldn't do the swing trainer (monkey bar) cos of that.. sian... but i admit my grip is weak too lah... can't even do pull ups now, wat more can i expect?! haiz... got to see you agian, so happy =) but keep scolding me... haiz.. very hurting one.... rather stay in camp then at least you will say nice things, then i feel better. anyways... good to see u lah... even if u REALLY dun like me anymore. *shrugs* but quite sad have to end the day w u feeling down because of your "confusion".. ar... nvm ar... i really not affected one... i very easy going. when i keep quite doesn't mean i angry, it just means time out and it's time to reflect on our actions and remedy them to prevent further misunderstandings and lost of temper. when i lose temper ar, i really ki-siao one... so ar... better not... aiyah.. but very difficult one lah... can control one... cos i also bu se de to angry w pple lah... hurt everyone and make myself gek sim only. got chance to see han and cy together =) feel happy for them also. feel the xin-fu-ness haha... yea... bought a moderately priced watch for brother cos it's his birthday today! wish him all the best ar... secondary school liao... surely for him will be a turning pt in his path where he will get new experiences... hope while i away. he dun get bad influences... sometimes i may be seen spending alot... but that's really once in a blue moon only... and i dun spend $$ on myself, i spend $$ on pple whom i love only... afterall, money is meant to be spent.. yah... so dun so worry abt me oki? SPENDING time also the same... spend quality time with friends and families is not WASTING time ya... and at the end, i enjoy all the company, which is priceless, you (and you too) have given me. THANKS! hmm.. k.. think gtg sleep... tomolo still have lots to do and check out... adios for now.... *yawnz*