whole morning... jotting down history.. compensating for the days i were too tired and lazy to blog, and in the mean time, waiting for her to come. sent her to work in the afternoon, then .... came back... and PLAY COMPUTER WHOLE DAY! haha... *yawnz*

once again... lai chuang until quite late. then packed my new sling bag and set off to NUS. went down to take a taxi because i really got no idea how to go. (but now i know). went there. quite fast. wrote the madam a new pin. she resetted it. came out of NUS. dunno where to go. took 96. reached clementi. reached her house. as in the last her. memories flahed. heartache. well, *sigh* dun care. went even closer to her block. reach downstairs. buy lock. memories flashed again. *sigh*. walked away. back to bus stop. took 147. alight @ commonwealth. took train. reach bugis (AGAIN). then spent the rest of the day with les =)

eh... forgot what i did.... hmm... lemme think... *pause* OH YAH!!! haha... kk.. so it goes. i lai chuang until 11am like that, after that went out to aljunied to post something at the main branch.. and stupid me.. when reach there only to find that they close on SUNDAY! lolx.. dumb right. so i carried the parcel all the way. today suppose to meet army friends at parkway to carry drinks for this evening's bbq. but i live in west, unfamiliar with east. then i stuck at aljunied where the roads all underconstruction and so messy.. i dunno which is which way. needless to say. late again. so they say dun need me le, tell me to go directly to ECP. but... I ALSO DUNO HOW TO GO ECP! haha... so i called a few people. i trust weixuan the most cos i think he's the best to as for DIRECTIONS. if ask he what bus to take he sure dunno, he only know directions. keke~ so i followed his direction and walked all the way from aljunied to ECP then from ECP to pit 19... i dunno how far it was... but after so many route marches.. it was chicken feet. hehe~. response was not bad... everyone came. though some left early. this time i really slack. sit and wait for food only. haha... then only got one brought GF. but the gf quite nice lah.. not shy, and is friendly. so got talk talk with her. hmm... oh then they try to strip this guy and throw him into sea. but ar... they pick the wrong guy lah... he cannot take these kind of pranks. and will get real angry and when he does, he wont give face and will whack anyone anyhow just to save himself. in the end make the atmosphere so tense.. haiz.. but i din get involve. i know him too well. phew. then i also left early. after eating a 5 king prawns. because the event was going to end liao. i din want to clean up. so i left early. haha... bad right? haha but aiyah... nvm... no one loves me anyway (keke~). and so i took bus 196 for an hour and reached home...

today... went gai gai with mama at bugis. actually i smart ar... 1 stone kill 2 bird. send les to work and meet mama all at same place! hehe.. haha. at least spending some quality time with her, can talk talk and all. she so short, i feel like a big boy. haha. stand beside her also got the strong responsibility to protect her that kind of feeling. not much really. small talks and giggles. it has been a VERY VERY LONG TIME since i last go gai gai with her. can see she quite happy also. er zi na me da le... then can see her face showing that kind of man zhu gan... see? haha... we checked out the handphones promotions... because brother lor... starting to become hiao... then want to have new phone new line. i also dun have ar! but, both of us know nuts abt them so were were like pointing at the tags and started to make guesses, trying to decipher. lolx... i think the pple around must be laughing at at. haha. we also went to see bags because mama want to buy a new one for herself. then passed PMK saw this quite nice bag then the mei nu down there make her try it on. very farnie... cos at that time got lots of girl girl around. then suddenly one MAN and OLD WOMAN walk in. hahaha... then i purposely say "now liu xing wear until the pi gu!" then they all luff.. lolx... haiz.. but it's true mah... learning is lifelong, staying in trend should also be lifelong. haha. but eventually she din buy it because she prefer a zip one to a string one. but as we were walking, really, realize nowadays the market target is around those teenagers up to 30+. really very hard for ah ma ah gong to shop out also... before go home, munched at delifrance with les during her break. she da best liao.. never bring inhaler... haiz. make us worry only. then SUDDENLY - *ring ring* "hello?" in a deep voice "e-h... c-o-m-i-n-g w-e-i h-a-o's g-a-t-h-e-r-i-n-g o-r n-o-t?" "... err... you are qing zheng ar?" lolx.. haiyo.. everytime like tt, call me never say who is he.. so i know must be qz. he wants to meet me... i was like aiyah! i also want to see him. ltns le ma. but no time. =( so i tried my best to hurry home, still it was too late le. he leaving at 9, i reached home at 8. so we said nvm. then dunno why, that night... FEVER. so had panadol, then went to bed... "OH YAH!" haha.. i jumped out of bed and grabbed the phone and called hantiong to ask about peiru... as for the details.. nah...

the last week of BMT was quite impactful for me... cos most of the time we only did AREA CLEANING (haha) and the more i clean, the more i miss the place. really... it was just beginning to feel like a real home for me and i realize i have to leave it soon. i miss tekong not because the things there are wonderful (apart from the rare sceneries), but it's because i did wonderful things over there. it's like we RELUCTANTLY brave through the most dirty and uncomfortable things we ever want to do, and we do it smiling. and if someone does something wrong... we got all the protection from the sergeants so that nothing really bad can happen to us and makes BMT an extraodinary experience. i guess the people there also makes a difference... better learn to like the people there, or your life will be miserable. imagine going through mud and sweat with someone you hate beside you... =X when the graduation 24km route march came... it was exciting, and at the moment... it was like "AWWWW... not again!?" but knowing that it's the final lap (literally), have to take it optimistically. once you take the first step out, there's no turning back. that's how cruel. the other time for 16km we were walking round and round the BMT ground so it was mentally more difficult because there is a strong tendency to give up and just sit one side to rest even though the ground was perfectly flat. but for 24km we walked into the woods in the dark... and naturally we don't even dare to think of giving up because in any case still have to come back to camp ma... can't possibly stay in the wilderness... so they just walked and walked... the last 4km walk was super-fast... i never see pple, including myself, with such high morale before. even though we were dead tired but somehow the mind takes control, lifting us with psychic power. that is another amazing thing. oh yah!!! how can i forget sia... besides area cleaning, we did the POP parade rehersal! again and again! haha... all of us are chao ta half upper arm down to the fingers! if that sounds weird, it's due to our uniform. our face not really burnt because we had to wear helmet for the rehersal... i rather get a black face lor... but guess what's the worse? on the actual day, we didn't even get to parade!!! the parade suppsose to start at 1630 and the rain came exactly at that time. *diaox* really waste effort... not as if we got nice tan.. if so then at least got something to feel okay about.. so, it was quite dissapointing. the parents and friends and gfs who came to watch the occasion confirm very dui also... come all the way here to see rain... somemore stuck on the island because not enuff fast craft to ferry them back to mainland. for my mother and i, we had to wait and queue from 1630 all the way to 2030 before we board the ferry... felt quite guilty at that time cos ask mama to come for nothing. lucky les and bro din come.. or else... hahaha... luckily, surprises do happen once in a while.... it happened like this: we were in the line queuing for the fast craft. as we walked closer and closer to the gate we could felt freedom drawing near. but so sway... we were cut away from the people in front because the ferry is full. so now we are the first in the queue to wait for the next one... btw, it's 15mins per next ferry. wah.. then the next ferry came finally. from the outside, it was unusually big. then as we approached it, we could see a faint silhouette of the disco light shpere. the door opened and we ascended the steps into the cabin and realized it is a mini cruise! there we sat under the romantic amber lights... enjoying the last thing that is worth all the trouble... lolx. anyway.. that's abit too carried away. after like 2 hours of travelling... finally, i'm home! with two big barang barang and lots of sweat.

ARGH!!!!! very e sian... play truck dismount again and again and again... super slow motion.. see liao even more sian... later gonna leave at 1900.. really dunno what to do now... ergh... too fed up to write now also.. hmpf! byebye!

another week has passed, so quickly. by end of next week, it would be POP and then the start of "hell". actually suppose to write yesterday night, but was too busy le.. after everything i was exhausted. so.. .zZ this week is a real tiring one. so far all the activities are quite xiong and makes us real dirty, especially 16km route march. the craziest thing i have before NS is to run from suntec city all the way to commonwealth drive, home. i dunno how far is that... but i took about 1 hour... hmm.. now i suspect i took longer than that... unless it's only 4km, or i run really fast, which i doubt.. dun you think so. anyway... walked 16km this time with a load of i dunno how many kg, but, it's just heavy la. walk until abrasion... now pain pain at the groin. can't imagine the 24km i going to go for next week... hmm besides this still got grenade practice which is something new, interesting... but dangerous! and earlier in the week had this simulation of battlefield condition where we require to chiong in to fight. very unfortunate, i got the muddiest lane and i was like almost drowning in cold mud chocolate when i was doing all the crawls... i think my BMT would be the most memorable compared to other batches. ha. out of no where there can be 3 robbers landing on tekong and set the whole island on high alert. i was amazed at how fast SAF was able to deploy the men from the various units as i witnessed the incident. at first when mobilization was called for, we all thought it was just an excercise until we see 2 heli landing in. it was quite exciting to see 2 superpumas landing just behind our barrack where the soccer field is. then there were commandos and many other soldiers storming in on 5-tonners. well.. it was like the movies... at first they said we were going to be trapped on the island because all book in and out will cease. but somehow after the security is in place, we were allowed to book out so as to ensure our safety... like i was saying, nothing in army is confirmed, must always be ready for unexpected change. we can plan and arrange everything we want to do, but we can't plan what others do. family always tell me to call back early to confirm book out timing. but for the past few book outs, the timing keep changing last minute without fail. so i told them, they must always be prepared for the day i wont be back. like those who are sent in to fight the robbers, there are both NSF and regulars so... anything can happen. i also sian liao.. dun want to speculate when i can come out, in order to avoid disappointment. so tired... everynight want to sms just to know how u are doing, but i just couldn't keep my eyes open and i doze off too quickly. miss the civilian life where freedom is just in the air. miss the people in all sorts of colours. miss the ones out there waiting. realize living can be meaningless even with a purpose, there has to be something to look forward to everyday, something you want it to happen and know that it will happen. everynight i feel exactly like a civilian who is far far away from loved ones; and every morning, all these thoughts go away and are replaced with a strong feeling of responsibility as a soldier. dun think i'm psychoed, i'm just myself once again, doing my best in whatever i have to do or set out to do. alot of things not within my control now... sometimes feeling quite bad that i dun spent enuff QUALITY time with pple who are dear to me. no time for mother, no time for father, no time for brother, no time for gf, no time for friends, no time for work. was thinking, even after NS, i probably also wont have much time because have to deal with university work and what if i have to stay in hostel?! there will surely be lots of projects and stuff like that which will eat away most leisure time... by then, i will be spending most of my time with schoolmates... haiz.. everything is so packed. for now, i just hope brother will be mature and know how to zi ji xiang, don't let family worry, cos, he's still very playful now... =( hmm... when i'm his age... i already working and earning money le.. ha. oh ya... di di got GF le... haiyo.. so fast.. i sec 3 year end then have eh.. he early sec 2 have liao.. these days ar... dunno how the GF is like.. but heard is very tall wor.. sad sia.. i so short =( sobsob.. but i look at photo, got ah lian look!!! yeeks.. but nvm.. dun judge appearance first. =x oh yah.. did i mention i want to buy PS2? cos every sunday is book in day. then usually not out so only rot at home, very sian. feel like buying something to play with... PS2 seems like a good choice. but you know me.. very bu se de buy for myself... so unlikely i will buy. but last saturday coincidentally kids central having ONE PIECE contest where they give away free PS2!! haha... then i enter the competition.. dunno will win or not. haha... geng small kids qiang wan ju. keke. but hor.. i enter the particulars using my brother's. haha.. paiseh la. btw... remind me to get the photo of the rainbow from my sergeant k.. thanks. okioki... i really very hungry le.. type all these while waiting for les to call me so that i can start moving to PS (plaza singapura lah!).. but... STILL HAVEN CALL!!!! haiz.. guess dun.. HEY!! handphone auto off! siao liao.. haiyo.. erm.. k.. guess dun wait le.. i better go off now... so... tA~ oh yah... happy belated bday han!

today's book out is really dissapointing. first they tell us we booking out at 1215 when ALL the others stay in camp. then the gold n silver IPPT drill competition team members get to book out at 700. then the rest of drill team book out 900. then when it was 1215, the rest of us were still behind the ferry gates. and we became the last platoon of the last company to book out. =( i could have booked out at 700.. but haiz.. that time twisted ankle so they dun allow me to join drill team. =( so today was quite boring for me. woke up 530 all the way doing nothing much except a little bit of area cleaning until 1215... WHY?! so slack... hmmm but still happy can see mainland again. saw a magnificent sight in tekong last friday... it was a rainbow... a full semi-circle of rainbow so distinct in color, shape and contrast against the skyline.it was heavenly... suddenly, a second rainbow slowly appeared above the first! although it was fainter, but could still clearly see two bands of concentric rainbow! they entire sky was pink on this side and on the opposite, it was a full screen of amber skylight.. perfect... must see the photo then you understand... i was mesmerized... come to realize actually tekong is a very beatuiful place of nature. at night, the sky was full of shimmering stars accompanying the full moon. some even reported sightings of shooting stars orange in color during guard duty.. i wish i saw them. but too bad.. it is a restricted area. =( the whole week is a slacking week. did nothing much actually. in fact can't remember what i did also. i'm happy with slacking... but time seems to pass so slowly when we are doing nothing! and i really yearn for the book out day so much then ever. finally here i am... most of the time played chess and Magic The Gathering. i think i lost more than i win. pple in there are just too pro and think really fast. must admit defeat. then i think going to kena addicted to Magic liao. but i wont go spend money to form a deck cos it's so wasteful. only play when there is really nothing to do... it was fun learning how to play and realize that i once had created a game with similar rules as this. going to POP soon... 2 more weeks =)

sian... falling sick again. like i told my friend: dunno why everytime come back then fall sick, cannot enjoy my book out. then return to camp sure fighting fit all the way, want to chao keng also cannot.. haiz... worse is spread germs all around cityhall, ps, HMV and to friends around me especially poor les... this morning had OCS + SDC visit also the first day company gather after release of A level results. slept 12am+ previous day and woke up 5am this morning. surprisingly, i woke up automatically without alarm or anything!! so tired yet can wake on time, miracle... so i hurriedly wash up, bathe, fold smart 4, put it on and left home. then managed to eat a tiny weeny breakfast before taking train to boon lay. and so we met. everyone so eager to know how each other fared. there were many As and Bs around. the sad thing is that i dun even have an A; the glad thing is that i am above average =). it was quite a mixed feeling i had the day results were released - friday - very deep instincts tell me i wont be happy with my results. was hoping to get at least BCD and C6. surely BBB was above expectation but i still din feel the relieve. i was quite dissapointed actually. like what han told me, i considered the input and output, but there is another element to consider - capability. i'm sure i should be getting ADA C6, but i couldn't even get one A... no cert is beautiful without As... sob. so i was actually dissapointed that i laze and slacked through the papers.. so... should be thankful cambrigde was lenient. one guy got EEE; another OOD; another BCD, F9.. lolx.. every single combination also have... the extremes... after all the wow, we proceeded to the lecture room where the LT gave a introductory talk about OCS. it was... interesting la... but not helpful at all. quite crappy at times. the only thing that caught most my attention was the description on how to skin rabbits and quail: for rabbits, have to blow air between the flesh and skin to inflat it so that can peel easily. then for quail, trainees will be asked to BREAK open the bird's ribs cage by piercing the thumbs into the thorax then force it apart, removing the gall bladder and stuff like that... YUCKS! anyway.. by the end of the talk it was 9am already. was quite shocked that 4 hours just passed so quickly and it seems we haven done much also. time flies... after that is all the SDC tour... pointless to talk about also.. quite boring and redundant. it's like i have toured so many times already! only new thing is that i suddenly feel intimidated. cos i realize since singapore excercises consription, it means that every MAN in singapore has a military rank and it becomes abit stressful for NSF cos like today, the bus guide is actually a CAPTAIN and the SDC tour guide (lao bei bei) is a colonel!! madness, all so high rank. i bet they must be thinking army boys this days are spoilt brats! entire thing ended about 1pm thereafter i rushed home bathe and slept until 3pm. before i changed to civi and head for PS to see dear... haha.. finally. then today also quite sway la... pestered by insurance people. what savings plan and blah blah... come on.. i am also a marketeer... i know all your tricks.. you can't cheat my money. and i quite amazed how fast i calculated the money on the spot and compared the plans without them knowing. haha... even countered them until they bo bian... have to release me. well... too bad. i did give you pple a chance, but you failed to convince me, your plans just doesn't appeal to me. manage to met han and cy.. happy to see they en en ai ai like that. =) but for me... awww.. not too good le... had to keep miss grumpy around... haiz. poor girl. i understand the disaapointment... well.. take it easy k? walked around sort of aimlessly but it was still a happy trip for me cos get to gather together (pun not intended) lolx. eventually parted ways cos it was rather late le.. and useless me is falling sick, buay tahan le... fever, cough, runny nose and GASTRIC! haiz.. starved myself for snoopy, in the end also never get to eat. haiz... so sad. well.. time to rest now.

this morning woked up by brother (cos i told him to, but he forgot, and woke me up for another reason... read on) cos he forgot to let mama sign his test papers... *diaox*. so he asked me to sign. "22/30. why? maths never get full marks!", "22/30. hey... spelling also cannot get full marks. never study right?", "15/30. oie! why like that? science very difficult ar? you dunno the answer or dunno what the question talking abt?!"... sign sign sign. hurried to my 3310 and it reads "6.59am" and so i quickly went to bathe and wash up and changed to semi-gai-gai clothes with the usual berms. grabbed nokia, pierre cardin and keys and left home, reached lift lobby, *AIYAH*! forgot to bring along the tie da uncle's name card. so i had to go all the way back to get the namecard. haiz.. absent minded. 3310 reads "7.36am" when i am in MRT at outram station. smsed her saying i'll reach bedok around 8.15am. but dunno why today the train moved really fast and i reached a little sooner than 8am. and so, dear dear couldn't get ready in time and i could feel how my speedy advance was stressing her up. but sorry, din mean to, cos i am TRAINED to be fast. she missed the 66 i was on and so we ended up meeting each other at the bedok reservoir road bus-stop. btw, the namecard had become redundant. no choice, but had to see tie da. twisted ankle for nearly 3 weeks and still abit swollen, aching at certain angles. plus dunno since when, i think twisted spine also, pain pain. cannot bend backwards. think injured during SOC. already waited so long for a decent break to get my bones working again. as of this morning, i'm mummified - sian... then tomolo get results how? cannot wear mei mei le... have to commit suicide in ugly state. actually i very tempted to daddify (opposite of mummify) myself before i go school... hehe... anyway, happy that can spend time with loved ones once again! with mother brother girlfriend and.... saturday can see han! and my long lost $560 - $20 ONLY (ehem... hahaha.. kidding). oh yah... just read han's blog. well... thanks for your compliments once again... but hor... dun say too much lah.... later sure have something bad happen to me... actually i very very sad eh.... cos in camp, many platoon mates dun like me eh... dun ask me why. i really dunno what wrong i did. hmm... we had this peer appraisal thingy and had to rank each other according to "most prefferred friend", very "coincidentally", i appeared last on most forms. haiz... how sad... i know...along the way surely have pple buay song me... like... hmmm MISS HE and blah blah (dunno who else, but have lah i guess)... but to have pple in the same platoon bearing grudges with me really dissapoints me in 2 main ways: 1) i made others unhappy 2) people, supposedly friends, around me are actually hypocrites i'm trying to find out the cause and trying to make up for whatever i have done already... but hang in there, cos it's about 4 weeks left only. anyway... where was i? *scrolls up and tracing* oh yah... toking abt being happy to get back with close people. yah... happy and.. feeling the sense of xin-fu-ness and peacefulness. but... after i sent her to work, i became REAL bored. really nothing to do. haiz.. alone at home. on bed. staring incident with the computer. spending too much time in camp causes disorientation back in mainland Singapore. was trying to explain how good i feel back in mainland to les and mama but i think no one can really understand the feeling until tt person kena admitted to tekong for NS. the difference is distinct - military and civilian life. i think i'm writing alot because i really got nothing else to do. hahaa... oh yah.. was playing GB, there my friend told some other pple tt i'm a computer pro. come to realize that, i haven been touching the computer stuff for a very long time, literally "lost touch". i guess i'm not as good as before already. even before that, while bathing, i was trying to recall some of the programming stuff and i realize i forgot most of them already. sad case. there i remembered timothy who's still on cho's project. talked to him, saw his works, must say it's getting more professional! haha. good job. thanks tim. if you got other lobang, REALIZE CREATIONS is still alive and around. then got this quite-handsome-well built-bachelor (i mean it. u want his number?) buddy who sleeps on the next bed and who is MLM + SHE fanatic who would bug me everynight. he listens to FM933 and gets SUPER excited over SHE song and would stuff the ear piece into my ear (DUH!) - OR - he would suddenly ask me about MLM stuff - OR - he would moan and grumble and question why he couldn't find a girlfriend - OR - any combination of these. so what's with him? UNKNOWINGLY, he reminds me abt belair lor... i haven been able to work on it. and that's really one of the important things on hand now... have been listening to various MLM companies' com plan and all in camp and realize i have been laggin behind... but what to do? really very difficult to continue - at least for me. UNKNOWINGLY, he also reminds me of my girlfriend, that i should cherish and treat her well, and i am trying my best le... and lastly, UNKNOWINGLY, he makes me want to train up physically more my target now is to run faster than his best 9.53mins (he is now slower than me) for 2.4km after that i want to run below 9.44mins. muhahaha... dunno if i can.... *shrug* wah... really alot and alot of things.... i can really go on forever... but, let me keep some personals ba... enuff for today. ta~ oh yah... PLEEEEEEEAAAAAASSSSSSSSEEEEEE let me get at least D7, B, C, D, A1 for A levels' result... PLEASEEEEE...

phew... finally back home again!!! and this time is a long weekend! woo hoo! so happy. for the past few book outs i barely had time to even rest... booking out for a few hours of conciousness is really pathetic. before u know it, ur're back in camp again. haiz... the previous book out i really din have time to blog, because i reached home 11am and have to leave by 6pm the very same day. in between met up just to keep each other accompained and hoping i can be there to relieve her stress and unhappiness. but all too little time... was how sway... haiz.. the previous friday supposed to be very happy. whole day just slack around doing nothing much but coy maintenace. was filled with excitement looking forward to next day's book out cos it was a morning book out. even planned what to do le... but sooooooo very sway i was random-selected for guard duty.. ARGH! found a friend, so nice to offer to replace me.. but then... dun want to sabo him lah... since fate like that play me.. i shall play on! so had to become a "guard".. and even more SWAY... kena sent to mainland SAF ferry terminal. still not enough, that day zun zun got aerospace showcase so alot of pple walking around and we had to be alert all the time, really doing our job. the reward is that we can see plane flying around lah... but, also nothing interesting, the other time confinement also saw everything. this time book out is also full of ups and down. the good news came on tues when the 2LT announced that those silver and gold IPPT award holders can book out on wed night around 11pm after the night swim. soooooo happy sia... cos i finally can get some rest. of cos the others were not happy lah... those chao geng ones, din take IPPT also very dui. haha.. serve them right. lucky i chiong all the way despite my ankle injury. oh... and i got personal all time best 2.4km timing of 10.08min. *paiseh* some pple do under 10 lah... but i think i can try that too. hehe. nearing... then on wed morning, dunno which doink spread rumor say book out delayed until thurs 3pm, then i was like so sad... cos everytime i confirm timing with family and her le, then CHANGE AGAIN! haiz.. later in the afternoon realized it's fake then i become so happy again. lolx. after that they say swim cancelled, so can book out even early - super high morale le. shui zhi dao... after chionging so hard to get ready asap, they tell us have to split into 3 waves cos not enuff boats... *bish* so i had to wait until 11pm afterall, cos i fail SOC - so sickening... dunno how i can fail also... stupid sweaty palms! but at least.. i'm home sweet home.