was in a rush last week when i blogged, so made a lot of mistakes. just corrected and republished again. hmm... so blogspot has come up with a new look and feel. looks much more useful then ever now. glad they improve their services. back at my computer again, finally. the entire week was quite depressing for many of us back in camp because news of confinement (for current weekend) kept coming. especially some of us, including me who happen to be in the "best" company (best performance, worse treatment). we really wanted to get out but the superior there were like couldn't care less and simply wouldn't sympathise with us. so we were disappointed that there were no one to turn to for help. luckily, there is still one last sergeant who is really very nice. he helped us alot in fighting for our book outs, if not for him, i'll still be in camp setting up the butt for live firing for the AIs (nothing to do with us as tankees). but all i worry is that he's putting himself into trouble... haiz... hope he's ok. my training is currently conducted at ayer rajar camp (OETI) which is just 15mins away WALK from my home. this weekend i walked home from there. i booked out from there. SHOIK! on other days i had to return to camp then next early morning come back to A.R.Camp. i woke at 4am on saturday morning... -.-.zZ that's why i couldn't enjoy the $1000+ birthday dinner for grandmother. wanted to ask HER to come along... shui zhi dao... she msg to say she meeting with "mummy". k lor... anyway, was missing her all the while too. at OETI i also get to see weixuan. haha... he still looks the same. glad he's fine and all. have small talks whenever we had the chance. hmm.. good to see some "old" friends around. so we were talking about how extreme our training was. one point was that for me, tea break is NOT ALLOWED; for him, tea break is ENFORCED! argh.. what is this... hmpf. really very saddening. so far i have two friends whom i think really suffering from serious stress problems. one pee-ed in bed at night and the other cried when he finally can booked out, as if he finally come out of prison... looking forward to vesak day now. haha! cos can book out again! but after that have to book in, for beret presentation on thurs. next weekend will be a LONG book out for the AIs but very short for the tankees. (now you see why it's so unfair? they actually want the tankess to stay behind to help with the set up of the live firing butt, but deprive us of our long book out, but. just TAKE it) oh yah... din really have time to chat with people these days especially hantiong... kinda miss him too. it's like haven seen a family member for so long, wondering how's he's getting. anyway, i had stuff to settle these recent book outs. RCB and SingStat surveys, University application, some shiftings and shopping etc.. just recieved NUS's acceptance letter yesterday. i confirm both NTU and NUS is accepting me! so happy. i got all my first choice. in NUS's 2 choice policy, i got both my first and second choice. i think i'm quite lucky considering the ratio of study-effort : exam-results : application-results. phew! managed to pull through. there's so much to say... but can never be put into words...

lazy kokboon writes his blog again.. beacause leslie toh ignores him and he doesn't know what to do next... actually got lots of things to do, but he chose to procrastinate... he's leaving by 1830 because... *sobsobs*.. haiz.. weeks passed. first phase of my gunner course ended with grand finale - live firing of the M50 SM1 main gun - BOOM!!! you can feel the shockwave around the tank when the explosive round fires off the gun tube... but inside the tank, no feeling!!! not even loud... i'm still trying to figure out why.. going to get my BLACK beret soon.. but before that, very sway-ly i got selected to participate in the NDP '04 parade and ceremony =( had my first rehersal on saturday.. i'm all dark and red now... it's going to be like this until the actual day itself. be sure to catch me on TV k... haha... it's so very tiring lor... but then again, it's really a rare opportunity. heard next year i'll be participating again... twice in a row!! woo hoo.. and this time i'll be driving in in a tank. i'll be at the turret, watch me next year! haha.. actually i doubt you can spot me, cos i'll be camou-ed. (hmm.. why am i so excited?) oh yah.. very happy.. fixed my sega saturn. cos really very sian.. come back from camp really nothing to do except all the admin stuff... last sunday i was trying to fix the transformer (i had to because i can't buy it anywhere le... ceased production), then i accidentally cut very deeply into my the side of my left palm with a RUSTY penknife... went back to camp with a plaster in the end... friday came home, feeling not satisfied.. took out the transformer again, this time... muahahha... fixed liao.. so my turn to ignore her.. cos can play game le! lalala.. kk.. play WC3 le.. tata~

it has been long since i last blogged. i used to be a deep thinker, but now, i hardly have the mental strength to gather my thoughts and reflect upon them. i'm just too tired - training is tiring. in about 50 mins time i got to be on the go again, to sentosa, to attend a COMPULSORY tug of war and FOAM PARTY - Amour Family Day. actually came back last night (friday) because of this family day thingy, then stay over night at her place just to keep her accompanied, if not, we only got too little time for each other. even now, she not around.. went for job interview. took some time in the train this morning on my way home to relax my mind and thinking of people close at heart. managed to "tidy up & organise" my emotions during this one-hour trip; also made me think of hantiong, peiru, karen, clement, andrew and weixuan... i dunno, it seemed like a VERY VERY long time since i last see them and i wonder how they are doing right now. not that i have lots to say to them, but just wanna be sure they are safe and sound... everyone has some bad points in them making their lives more... "rocky" or optimistically, "challenging". they get trapped by their own weakness and becomes upset. everyday i hope they'll get out of their own traps and live a better life each new day. but there is nothing i can really do... i'm not a preacher, not a perfect man either... i'm only a glad person. went for the NUS electrical engineering interview. i was quite clueless what to do and everything was impromptu. the only thing i prepared were some of the certs i have, which, isnt alot. and there i was, sitting in this tutorial room and bombarded with questions from this 2 dunno who... yah.. then was asked to write a 300-word STATEMENT OF PURPOSE on the spot. of cos i din meet the word limit.. i was quite blank at that time, everything happened in a flash, and in less than 30 mins, i'm done. dunno if i'll be selected. but i dun have much confidence cause i felt abit crappy. lolx. but nvm... NTU will want me - i hope. look at the clock. YOUR life is ticking away. have YOU done what YOU MUST do? no? then get going! wait... do you know why there are things YOU MUST do? shouldn't you be doing what YOU WANT to do? ... because, you exist in this world and is answerable not only to yourself, but also to millions of others who exist together with you. how do you think you get to have a share of a bowl of rice everyday? the farmers MUST work a little harder to get that bowl of rice for you, even though they WANT to have a rest.